This is Future Gary taking over command of this blog from Gary in the present. Gary in the present is totally unaware of this happening. I am blogging while he sleeps, which is at least 15 hours a day. Sometimes he sleeps with his eyes open. I know this because I lived through those rough Greater Depression times (2009–2016) as him, and it wasn't pleasant.
In the future, we no longer type when we blog. We THINK our blog posts and it is posted directly on screen. Spelling errors are no longer an issue. Spellcheck is pre-programmed in our brains.
In the future, we know how Lost ended. We still don't understand it, but we know how it ended.
In the future, Jay Leno is on SEVEN nights a week. NBC had him cloned. His chin is even larger. His jokes, however, are still not funny.
In the future, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity broadcast their respective TV shows from Iowa, where they moved in 2012 to settle down together and raise a family.
In the future, we have to drink our own urine due to water shortages. This is not one of my favorite parts of the future.
In the future, American Idol is the only thing FOX shows. Ryan Seacrest is still the host. He is also President of the United States. Don't ask.
In the future, we have conquered swine flu. In fact, we have conquered swine, period. No more pigs. However, the occasional outbreak of chihuahua flu kills millions of people, mainly in China and India, but ironically, not Mexico.
In the future, we finally have flying cars, but the price of flying car gas is $700/gallon. Consequently, traffic is not so big a problem.
Did I mention we drink our own urine in the future? Yeah, I don't like that part so much.
Oh, no, Future Gary, you've gone and ruined everything! Now that we know what's going to happen, we can't help but be influenced to change the course of events in ways large and small! Who knows what will come of this? (I'm hoping our inevitable missteps will fix the urine problem, though.)
Posted by: Joolie | 05/04/2009 at 10:17 PM