If you're a regular reader of this blog, you can probably tell--for a while now--that I've run a bit out of steam. It's not just the blog. It's everything. I don't know if I'm going through a mid-life crisis (I kind of felt I dealt with that when I was 40 and had the 22-year old girlfriend AND the Porsche, and I'm still paying for both) of if there's something fundamentally lacking in my existence. I'm not poor. I don't suffer from hunger or homelessness. I have a pretty cushy life, comparitively speaking. Yet there's no real joy in it, at least right now, no direction. I thought a week in San Francisco would help. It didn't. As I enter the busiest time of year, work-wise, for me, I find myself wondering why bother?
I think I inherited some of these "why bother?" genes from my parents, who never really figured out the meaning of their own lives. I am trying to recapture something here, trying to figure out what brings me some small amount of joy and happiness. I realize this is depressing to read, and I apologize for it. I'm trying to get back on track, to write about things I love and enjoy and to hopefully entertain you all just a little bit more, but right now, I feel like all the joy has just been drained out of my little red balloon and I don't have the energy to blow it up once again.
No suggestions or solutions here, but sending good thoughts your way. Plus an appreciation of the chocolate bunny!
Posted by: M_eHart | 04/16/2006 at 11:08 AM
i too read ye every day. it is one of the highlights when i get home.
i know well the feeling of funk. if ye figure out how to rekindle, let me know. i could use a good rekindling too!
Posted by: elessa | 04/15/2006 at 11:00 PM
I've noticed that your blog doesn't seem to get a lot of comments, and while I've never have much to say about it, I wanted you to know I've been reading for a few months now and really enjoying it.
There's so much pressure in this country for us to be happy-happy-happy all the time and never admit that we're depressed. I think that's really screwed up, and if you want to write about feeling blue there's no shame in it, especially since you do it so well.
You have seemed extra nostalgic lately, and it sounds like you're looking back instead of forward. Could it be that you miss drawing? Maybe coming up with a new comics project will re-invigorate you creatively. It's an idea to consider, anyway. I also think a girlfriend is in order, although I'm not telling you anything you don't know.
(Yes, I know, I have a crazy name. Let's just ignore that, shall we..?)
Posted by: Ursula Hitler | 04/15/2006 at 01:51 AM
I'm nearly 46, and I have been feeling a sense of "what the fuck?" for a long time now; I love my wife, and our dogs and cats, and my life is pretty decent, but I feel lost a lot of the time, and I don't know why.
Like you, I love "24" and that always makes me feel oddly alive, and I love your KA-CHUNK weekly report (is that redundant?).
Your blog is among the first things that I read every single day; I feel like I know you,like you're a friend, and if you need some time to recharge, take it, but come back soon, 'cause I will really miss you.
Posted by: therealshell | 04/14/2006 at 10:28 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your ennui, Gary. I'm feeling the same way, too. I wish I had some advice, but the only thing I can do is wish you luck as I go off in search of my solution.
Posted by: Tony Collett | 04/14/2006 at 10:00 PM
Hey Gary i am 54 years old and was laid off from my job 5 months ago. I have had a great life, the women,the cars, the houses,the Harleys,on and on. Let me tell you ,it is so hard finding a job right now. I have a little piddly job now but those 10grand a month jobs is what i miss. To be honest, and i read you every day, I think you have hid this well. You are such a smart,intellegent,and talented writer, you have snowballed a lot of people. Take a rest, but please not for to long. And come back strong. You have a lot of people that look forward to your views daily. I have turned on quite a few. As far as me, Easter Sunday i am taking off with some friends and going to Arizona on the Harleys for a week. To hell with it all. I will feel brand new on April 24 ready to blow up my red balloon again!!!!
Posted by: Carl | 04/14/2006 at 09:58 PM