Innocent Bystander

My big, fat New Year's Eve...

After spending the early part of the day running around (very complicated today, by planes, trains and automobiles), I have opted to spend the evening with the brilliant Mr. Will Ferrell and that wry, sophisticated comedy, Anchorman. Contrary to popular belief, Anchorman is not a Merchant-Ivory production, and is not about a sea-going man who hunts down a great white whale. In fact, the anchor part has nothing to do with the ocean or boats and that kinda stuff. Imagine that!

But seriously, folks, and I do kid...Anchorman is another one of those incredibly stupid comedies I hold so near and dear to my heart. 2004 was a banner year (Eurotrip, Dodgeball) for this new, emerging film genre, arguably started back in the 70s with films by Woody Allen and Mel Brooks (before they both started making really crappy, unfunny ones) and the brilliant Airplane! which paved the road for many more stupid comedies. There should be an Oscar just for stupid comedies, and the statue should be bent over and mooning the world.

This version of Anchorman is the "unrated, uncensored and uncalled for" DVD edition.

Bravo, sir. Brav-O.

Happy New Year!

New year, old TV...

The first week of the New Year brings back 2 of my favorite TV shows, 24 and Alias. The latter has dragged a bit in the past year, and I just wish it would get over the whole "Rambaldi" plotline which has run through all 3 previous seasons, and let Sydney Bristow just be a damn secret agent and be done with it. Of course, rooting this in the real world, ala 24, may not be a great idea, since the CIA is not real popular these days. At least Jack Bauer's CTU is a fake organization.

24 started off horribly last year in Season 3. It almost seemed like they hired a bunch of writers and told them all only part of the storyline and then sent them off to write, giving each one just the last 5 pages of the previous show's script. Around mid-season the whole thing finally fell in line and the last 12 episodes were great, but still not up to Season 2, which (despite daughter Kim's bout with the cougar trap) was one of the best storylines on TV in the past few years. This year, the way I understand it, they cleaned house...no Kim, no lame-ass sidekick for Jack, no President Palmer, no Sherry Palmer (I still think she's alive...she's too juicy a character to kill off).

The original plan for both these shows was to wait until January to bring them back so they can run their entire season without interruption, i.e. no reruns. But it's already obvious that Fox has different plans, showing the first 4 hours of 24 over 2 nights, starting Sunday, Jan. 9 and continuing on Monday, Jan. 10. Ummm....the show is called 24 for a reason. I think Fox already has American Idol specials planned, so don't count on 24 (or 20) consecutive weeks of Kiefer-viewing.

Alias debuts this Wednesday, Jan. 5 with a 2-hour episode also. It looks like Syd has a new nemesis, too, Tamazaki, a "modern-day samurai" according to TV Guide, and played by Rick Yune, one of the villains in the last James Bond movie, Die Another Day. Alias should prosper in its new timeslot following Lost on Wednesday nights, this year's second favorite new series (behind Desperate Housewives). Both shows are helmed by J. J. Abrams. I really hope Alias is better this year.

PS--I've been accused lately of watching too much TV. YOU THINK?

It's the end of the year, as we know it...

I spent an enjoyable half-hour this morning reading the latest Pittsburgh Magazine, which my dear friend Paula sends me a subscription to each year. Although, I'm a bit befuddled by the 25 Most Beautiful Pittsburghers cover story. Guess what? Five of them are MODELS! Who would have thunk it? I like reading it for the ads, since it takes me back to that city. I lived there for almost 20 years and loved it, it's a much different place than people think, especially those that have never been to it. Great comic shops, too. I miss that part the most.

And then, after laying down said magazine, who calls but dear friend Paula herself, and we talked for a good 90 minutes or so and got caught up with each others lives, which is always fun.

I went for a short walk today, and "no parking" signs are up on all the adjacent streets to my street here in the Gaslamp. I don't see them building anything, but the no parking ban starts after 4:00 a.m., so we'll see. I found nothing in the paper, so I don't think they're blocking off streets to build stages and put up fences. They do that for Mardi Gras and St. Patrick's Day. It's a royal pain in the ass.

Regardless, I know the entire Gaslamp will be inundated with drunken fools tomorrow night. Me? I'll be snug as a bug up here, watching movies probably. Just another Friday night for me.

No more free lunch...

Folks, our free trial is over here at Typepad.com. Providing they don't call in the chit too early, we will continue blogging. Our life, our mission will go on. The Ronco knife people will fall by the wayside, our world will once again be our own little world: Selfish, petty, self-aggrandizing, but our's nonetheless.

Statement of principle...

I am not always going to write things here that people are going to agree with. My position isn't to offer debate, just my thoughts. Every person's perspective is different due to a variety of reasons: upbringing, life experience (or lack thereof), personality (or lack thereof), etc. Sometimes my intent is not what you might think my intent is. Sometimes I'm just venting. Sometimes I'm truly passionate or confused or impressed (or NOT to all of the above) with some particular person, place, or thing. And as Freud once said to his daughter, at least on Saturday Night Live, sometimes a banana is just a banana, Anna.

Blove story...

A little while back, I asked if anyone knew of any "Blove stories," that is, people who met through blogs and fell madly in love. Well, here's one, sent to me by Nina, of NinaTurns40, a blog I discovered. It's worth a read, not just because of the story behind the story, but because the guy writing it is damn good. It would make a great movie. You've Got Blog, maybe? By the way, Nina is worth a look, too. Go visit and tell her Gary sent you!

Jerry Orbach 1935-2004

I was sad to hear about Jerry Orbach's passing today. While I was never a fan of the Law and Order franchises on TV, I did enjoy his movie work, especially a little movie called FX which came out in the late 80s. In it, he played a mob boss who was somehow involved with a government agency. They hired a movie special effects guy to fake the mob boss's death. It was a tight little thriller which also starred Bryan Brown and Brian Dennehey. And as Mark Evanier points out today on his blog, Orbach was a major Broadway star, appearing in such shows as 42nd Street and Chicago.

Orbach represents the opposite of what I wrote earlier of pseudo-celebrities (like Cojo) playing on their personal diseases and problems for publicity reasons. When it was announced last year that Orbach was leaving the flagship Law and Order show for a spin-off, it seemed sudden. Then, said spin-off never was placed on the fall schedule by NBC (supposedly it comes on this spring, and they said Orbach's contributions to the series have already been filmed, but now it sounds like that might not be true). Then it was announced that he was being treated for prostate cancer, but he was fine, out playing golf every day. Suddenly, he's dead. I get the feeling they weren't telling us the whole story, and that's fine. I think it's great in this publicity-hungry era that someone chooses to die with dignity and some sense of privacy.

I also get the feeling we're not hearing the whole truth about Dick Clark, who had a "mild stroke" in early December. First it was he may be able to do his usual Rockin' New Year's Eve broadcast. Then it was he's sitting it out. Now here it is, almost a month later, and he's still in the hospital. Regis Philbin takes his place. (I dunno...doesn't a show called "Rockin' New Year's Eve" cry out for somebody...rockin'? I kinda think of rocking chairs for Regis, even moreso than Dick Clark.)

I grew up watching Dick Clark. American Bandstand started as a local show, on Philadelphia television (WFIL). In that era, lots of radio personalities made the jump to TV, especially with dance party shows, all patterened after Clark's hugely-successful AB. Ed Hurst was another Philly-area broadcaster who did the dance party thing, notably on Atlantic City's Steel Pier. That was a favorite show, because it reminded me of our vacations there each year.

But I digress...I certainly hope for the best for Dick Clark, and am saddened by the news of Jerry Orbach. It just proves to me the difference between class and crass, when it comes to how these men handled (or in Clark's case, is handling) their respective personal battles, as opposed to the "new breed" of celebrity we seem to have spawned these days.

Things I thought of while driving around today...

I made my weekly trek to the comics shop (neither wind nor rain or...well, whatever else those Postal people promise to do, holds for me and the comics shop) and as I was driving around I had a number of random thoughts.

1. Planes are lots faster than cars...
It's true. I was driving up Pacific Highway (not be confused with Pacific COAST Highway, although I guess it's sorta the same thing, except downtown) and a plane left the runway at Lindbergh Field. By the time I was just a bit further along, it was up and gone over Point Loma and out of sight. Oh, I know...this is a 4-year old's observation, but I just never really appreciated it before.

2. People who buy cigarettes...
and insist on tapping on the pack to "loosen the tobacco" should at least try and approximate some kind of musical beat when doing so, so they become, I dunno...at least somewhat entertaining and lots less annoying.

3. If you change your diet, do it gradually...
My delicate system isn't used to a lot of fruits and veggies these past few weeks, so jumping in whole-heartedly is NOT a good idea. I feel crappy today. Everything in moderation.

Things I just don't get (#2)...

Why is Star Jones famous? Can anyone explain that to me? I know she's on that Barbara Walters chatfest each day, The View, and now I see she's replacing Joan and Melissa Rivers on E!'s red carpet coverage. But why? What's her area of expertise?

Or for that matter, this Cojo guy? The one that made a news story out of his kidney disease. He's on Entertainment Tonight...he used to do stuff for the KTLA morning news. He did a story on ET that revealed he had some kind of kidney problem. So I'm guessing he's going to be off the show for a while, but why do a story (a LEAD story, nonetheless) about such a personal problem. Or was he afraid we'd think he was fired, that maybe the management at ET FINALLY came to their senses?

DO WE HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYBODY?

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss...

Short of changing this blog's name to "Gary's Garden State blogatorium," I cannot extoll the virtues of the movie Garden State enough. It came out on DVD today, and you should run out right now and rent it. Better yet, BUY it. It's that good.

Evidently originally titled "Large's Ark," there's just so many great things about this film. It's laugh-out-loud funny in spots, incredibly moving in other spots and it has one of the most authentic real person portrayals in years in Natalie Portman's Sam, the lying epileptic who steals the heart of Andrew "Large" Largeman (Zach Braff). On my second viewing, I loved this movie even more than the first time I saw it. The "Making of" documentary included on the DVD is also exceptionally well done and adds a lot to the viewing of the actual film (but watch the movie first, okay? No peeking.).

Normally when I watch deleted scenes from a film, it's immediately apparent why they were deleted. Such is the case with most of those included on the Garden State DVD. But there's one or two scenes that would have added so much more to the finished film. One in particular is the extended scene between Large and Sam in the bathtub. This complete scene, if used in the finished picture, would have made the ending seem less pat and happy. It adds a lot of depth into the 4-day relationship of these 2 characters. My one complaint with this movie is the ending. It's too happy. It's romantic. It's even lovely. But it's too pat, even though it bears out my comparison (listed way below) with The Graduate. It's literally a "what do we do now?" moment.

I plan to watch this again tomorrow with the commentary track turned on, but I promise not to bore with you my thoughts on that. I've gone on enough about Garden State. It's time for you to visit it for yourself.