Innocent Bystander

Why I Hate the TV News Media (This Week's Reason)...

I used to spend a lot of time on here writing about local TV news. I finally got so disgusted with the parade of subpar personalities that grace the San Diego airwaves on any given day (or in the case of KUSI, which runs news almost around the clock when it's not running shows with judges in them, any given hour), that I just gave up. But my reason for bringing up TV news again is national this time, and it's less personality-driven than coverage-driven.

Yesterday all four cable news networks suspended their normal programs to broadcast the funeral of Whitney Houston. CNN, Headline News, Fox, and MSNBC all ran it. And the reason for my ire with this? They're hypocritical coverage of Houston over the years.

Yes, I'll agree Houston was once a major star. Yes, it's tragic she died at the age of 48. But over the past decade or so the media delighted in her train wreck of a life (which started to occur the minute she got married) and not only kicked her when she was down, they repeatedly kicked her over and over into the gutter. Then she dies and all of the sudden she's treated like some kind of head of state, like an assassinated president or a dead pope.

When she died last Sunday, I watched CNN scramble to put someone on the air to do live coverage. I don't know the guy's name, but his arrogance and his apparent delight in this career-making moment made him absolutely insufferable. At one point he apologized because he was getting all his info off his Blackberry. At another point, CNN news personality Jane Velez Mitchell joined him via phone and he said something like "Jane, you're an addict," and then asked her to talk about how difficult it is for people to kick drugs. But the height of his arrogance was when he said something to the effect that he didn't need anyone to tell him about Whitney Houston, he didn't need any reference material, he grew up on her music. He knew all about her. It became one of those moments on TV news where the story was about who was reporting it, not who died.

Last Sunday all the networks jumped onto this story in a piranha-like feeding frenzy, and each one of them could not resist the temptation to say Houston died of a drug overdose. They hinted, they brought up past indiscretions, they asked their teams of Whitney "experts" to extrapolate on what happened.

Do you want to see the real incestuous spawn of the 24-hour news cycle? Watch when news breaks. Whether it be a celebrity dying or Osama bin Laden being killed, the networks conjure up pundits and experts and authors and authorities, all to fill the bottomless pit of cable network news. None of them know what's really going on. It's a headline: Whitney Houston dead at 48. She died in the Beverly Hilton Hotel in a bathtub. That's all they knew. That's all they still know.

As I was writing this, a local station--CBS 8 in San Diego--ran the story that Lindsay Lohan is hosting Saturday Night Live on March 3. The video they chose to show Lohan? She's in handcuffs, being led out of court. Maybe it's just a bad choice by a production assistant or an editor. Maybe it's a nudge-nudge, wink-wink statement on part of the producer or writer. Either way it totally brought home what the news media thinks of celebrities: We love to hate you, but we'll love you even more when you die, especially on a slow news day.

"Ask the Doctor" makes me queasy...

Ever wake up in the morning and the first thing you see on the teevee brings back a rush of unpleasant memories so forcefully that you think you might want to hurl? That happened to me today...

One of the local TV stations here in San Diego has started doing "Ask the..." segments on the morning news. I'm not sure who the audience is for advice at 7:00am from doctors, attorneys, and the like--you know, more expensive professionals who normally get more than a stale bagel and a cup o' joe for their time. And while the whole "Ask the..." format isn't new to TV news--it's where a panel of professionals--medical, legal, contractors, whatever--answer phone-in questions and dispense free advice--the station I used to work at in Pittsburgh brought it to a whole new level in the 1990s.

That's because we had a general manager at the time--who shall remain nameless for obvious legal reasons--who was the cheapest man alive. The "Ask the" days became an excuse to have free food in the studio, food which would--inevitably--either be consumed or taken home by the GM. The "Ask the" days started with the obvious ones: "Ask the Doctor," "Ask the Attorney," "Ask the Accountant," and morphed into other areas. (I swear to God at one point we either discussed or actually did "Ask the Lactation Specialist"...but I'm not sure if that one actually made it on-air). And each "Ask the" day came with an all-important sponsor, and part of the sponsorship deal was that they paid for the food so the poor doctors, lawyers, and other assorted people had something to munch on while they worked the phones, usually starting at 11am or so and continuing until 7:00pm.

Don't get me wrong: the food spread in studio B was a welcome addition for us all. You know, you had to go over and make sure everything was running smoothly and hey, let's just make a plate while we're here, because it's 7:00pm and all this food would go to waste otherwise. But it wouldn't. The GM would descend like a vulture and take it home or scarf it up while he was there and woe to the poor station employee who graze off the food tables. It became almost a challenge to slip in and out right at the proper moment to avoid getting caught and still be able to eat.

I'm not sure what the whole "Ask the" thing adds to TV news. I guess it can be categorized as some kind of local outreach, helping the community. If it's done right, it's an added little "KA-CHING!" for the station, though, and that's the bottom line, of course. But turning on the TV this morning and seeing that--however slight--phone bank of doctors on a local station certainly made my head spin. And it also made me Google the name of that former GM from the Pittsburgh station, just to make sure he hadn't made a comeback in television in my current city. THAT would have made me call the doctors on my TV to ask them how do you get rid of a dull, throbbing headache caused by the proximity of a jerk. I'm sure they get a lot of calls like that.

Separating the newsmen from the newsboys...

Like everyone else on Sunday evening, I turned on the TV as soon as I heard the news about Osama bin Laden being killed. I had logged onto the Internet around 9:00pm to see it on my home page. So I tuned into CNN to follow the developing story. Wolf Blitzer, who's fine as a news person, just not my particular cup of tea (I find him a bit stilted and awkward, like he's some kind of news robot), was playing the usual hopscotch round-robin that all these cable news networks do when there's breaking news. Except there's rarely breaking news of this magnitude. The most infamous man in the world shot dead by an elite American military team during a raid on foreign soil. Even Hollywood can't make up this shit (because Chuck Norris is retired).

As the story unfolded we learned--from Wolf and his various reporters and on-air cronies--what transpired and how it happened. At one point they discussed the failure of one of the helicopters that the military used to raid the compound in Pakistan, and Wolf asked a question about the Blackhawk copter. To which the reporter paused and replied, a bit befuddled, "You're referring, of course, to the famous movie, Blackhawk Down."

Um...no. He was referring to the helicopter failing in past missions. And that's an important and oft-forgotten lesson in 24-hour television news management: You can lead a reporter to the camera, but you can't always make him be sensible. When you want these people to talk non-stop to cover the fact that every breaking news story is still breaking, and little information is available, make sure they're up to the task. This guy clearly wasn't. (The reporter's name has been redacted to protect the innocent.)

I weep for the television news industry...especially in San Diego...

Like Speaker of the House John Boehner, I cry easily. Lately what has me crying a lot is television news in San Diego. I weep for the following:

The Channel 8 anchor who reads the iPhone 3GS as "3 Gees." The same anchor worries more about his hand movements than what he's reading. It's like every hand gesture is scripted and on the teleprompter for him.

The Channel 8 anchor who thinks "evening" is a three-syllable word, pronounced "eve-ah-ning."

The Channel 8 weathercaster/reporter who thinks he's an expert on everything from cooking to local disasters, yet regularly displays horrible taste in outerwear along with his absolutely humorless demeanor.

The Channel 8 reporter who doesn't seem to be aware that just about every time he does a live shot, those little "old man" sputtering and breathing noises he makes before he starts to talk all go out live on the air.

The Fox 5 anchor who is more concerned about HOW he reads something, rather than WHAT he's reading.

The Fox 5 anchor whose soul patch is evidently more important than his dignity.

The Fox 5 news director who thinks you can take a reality TV "star," just add water, and make her a TV news personality. The same news director seems to think San Diego is "Los Angeles South," and supplements his staff with almost-daily reports from someone from sister station KTLA, usually the smarmy "Kurt the Cyber-Guy," who embodies the old adage "if you don't like it, don't watch." Equally annoying: the failed DJ who reads the what's new stuff on Tuesday, another refugee from a razor when it comes to that oh-so-hip--especially for television news--soulpatch.

The Fox 5 fill-in news anchor who seems like everyone's cranky uncle when he shows up on air. Rest assured this guy will NEVER sport a soulpatch.

The graying of Channel 7/39. Who is hiring these young whippersnappers--like the new lead anchor and the new weatherperson--a news director over the age of 90?

Channel 10's...wait. Channel 10 has newscasts?

Channels 10, 7/39, 8, and Fox 5, who don't even attempt to do a weekend morning newscast, leaving us with KUSI's yuck-fest and San Diego 6's "let's put mannequins on the air and see if anyone notices" versions of "news."

I don't watch KUSI. If I did, I'd be crying ALL. THE. TIME.

Mean-spirited bloggers who spend way too much time bitching about local TV news. They make me cry the most. Never forget that if it bugs you, one simple flick of the finger makes it all go away.

San Diego TV News news...Neville and Levin throw in the towel...

I almost never write about San Diego TV News anymore because let's face it...there's not a lot to write about. For a big city, all local news stations here seem to be covering a small town. Fires, murders, traffic accidents. I'm sure it's this way around the country, in even bigger cities. That's why they call it local news.

But San Diego saw two major on-air news personalities leave the air this past week. Arthel Neville left the Fox 5 Morning News and Marty Levin retired from NBC 7/39.

Neville was the outside big name added to a roster of locally known talent (Chrissy Russo, Susan Lennon, and Kathleen Bade, since augmented by Aloha Taylor and Loren Nancarrow) when Fox 5 started up 2 years ago. The daughter of Art Neville, of the musical Neville Brothers, she came from E!, CNN, and co-hosted Fox's Good Day Live before landing in San Diego. While a good sport each morning, Arthel seemed a little too classy for a morning TV news show in San Diego and no one can ever blame anyone from walking away from a job that includes being in at 4:30 each morning. I can't find anything on this here Internet thingie that says where Arthel is heading next. I'm guessing the station's live reporter, Shally Zomorodi, will be taking Arthel's seat at the anchor desk.

Marty Levin has been a fixture on San Diego local TV for 33 years. His career includes all 3 of the major network-affiliated stations. I don't watch 7/39 very much, but they seem to have the local record for keeping talent on the air. There's not a lot of change there, which is a major comfort for viewers. I've always looked at on-air talent as the main face of local TV news, much more important than the news director, producers, and graphics package. It's also refreshing to see a person retire from the TV news biz because he felt it was time to go. The worst thing in the world is a news anchor hanging on until they literally die in the job (like Hal Fishman at KTLA), long past the age when they should have hung it up and gone fishin'. Levin reportedly gave away most of his ties to co-workers. That's a sure sign he has no illusions about retirement. I envy him.

Seriously, CNN? You have to use a pun in the headline of this story?

Another classic example of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should..."

Current CNN headline on the controversy involving Toyota cars and the gas pedals that stick:

"Accelerates?" What cable news brain trust member thought that was a GOOD idea? I guess good taste is out of style on cable TV, or at least on their websites.

Give me your tired, your poor, your unemployed San Diego news anchors...

It used to be KUSI was the go-to station for news people in San Diego. If you left a station here in the city, you would quite possibly end up there. I don't think any TV news organization in San Diego makes their on-air talent sign non-compete clauses (whereby they have to sit out a year or so before working at a competing station in the same city), or if they do, it's only the top anchors. In all my years watching--and with 20+ (blissfully past) years working--in TV news, I've never seen a market where there's so much crosstown cross-pollination from station to station.

This has become much more prevalent in the last few weeks as Fox 5 (KSWB, still stuck with the unfortunate call letters from a previous relationship with the WB, which has moved on with it's life and is now the CW) seems to be holding open auditions for familiar news talent. Don't get me wrong: As a start-up, Fox 5 did a great job of mining the local talent ore for a few gems, notably Kathleen Bade and Susan Lennon. Bade was dropped by KFMB, better known as CBS 8, in a moment of utter lunacy on their part, and Lennon "retired" from the salt mine of morning TV news at KUSI, where she toiled for a good ten years or so. In addition, Fox 5 snatched up the contract-less Chrissy Russo to help jump-start their morning news show. (And Chrissy now has own show on Fox 5, the aptly named Chrissy Russo Live, which debuted the other night, but really, who knew? I have yet to see the station promo the damn thing, although I've been told there are four other shows currently in the can. And Googling that exact phrase gets you ONE whole link about a live taping downtown. Hey, Fox 5? If a show airs without any promotion, does anyone know it exists?)

The other morning I had a giant WTF?! moment when I turned on Fox's morning show to see Paul Bloom sitting at the anchor desk, looking terribly over-dressed for so early in the day. I thought Bloom was glued to the seat over at KUSI and they just wheeled him in every hour or so to do the news, he's been on that station for so long. But there he was, and in HD, too (I get the feeling KUSI thinks HD stands for "Highly Doubtful," which is what I think every time I wonder when they're actually going to start broadcasting in HD, and, you know, fill my whole screen up with aging anchors, like it's supposed to be.) Bloom was the capper to a week that included the debut of Aloha Taylor on Fox's 10pm newscast. Taylor was last seen on the station formerly known as Fox, but now known as the horribly generic San Diego 6 (which sounds like a bunch of local Republicans who were tried for income tax evasion). Before that she was on CBS 8, but I think she went back to Hawaii or somewhere (hence the "Aloha") and then came back here. In addition, Loren Nancarrow, best known for his long stint on Channel 10, the ABC affiliate here in SD, and also known for being one of the few on-air personalities with a soul patch (note to Loren: there's a reason why news people don't have them, bud...they're creepy and reserved for 30-something hipsters who can't grow a real beard) has also been doing triple-duty at Fox, occasionally filling in on weather at night, plus co-anchoring in the morning while regular anchor Raoul Martinez is MIA (on vacation, I imagine). Nancarrow also does some kind of "going green" segment for the station.

But seeing Bloomie away from his most familiar habitat was the biggest shock for me, kind of like he wandered off the reservation. He's been gone from KUSI since mid-December and like when Stan Miller got dumped by CBS 8, a lot of people are pissed off about this. But it looks like Fox 5 is now taking the crown from KUSI for being the "old newscasters home" these days, even if some of those 'casters aren't so old. (And by the way, the station is also KTLA South. I see a lot of that Los Angeles-based station's "talent" on air down here, mainly because the news director at Fox 5 was the executive producer at KTLA. And you know what? Kurt the Cyber-Guy still makes me change the channel every f-ing time.)

I suppose it could be worse at Fox 5 (which, by the way, has one of the s-l-o-w-e-s-t loading websites EVER). The other morning the above-mentioned news director announced some kind of contest (I guess) where you send them an item you would like to see thrown in a wood chipper. Said item should have some kind of sentimental value and the destruction therein should denote the breaking up with a loved one. (I'm sorry...I didn't pay very close attention, because let's face it: There's a reason why news directors aren't on the air every day.) Yes, it's February, the month known for Valentines Day and, oh, yeah...a ratings period. Can Fox 5's version of "The Audition," the KTLA ratings stunt that launched the careers of the Scottish entertainment reporter who did Mick Jagger impressions as often as possible and the helicopter-embedded traffic reporter who sounded like a Disney cartoon character, be far away?

I guess we're lucky they're not throwing unemployed San Diego news people in the wood chipper. Now THAT would be a ratings stunt! But maybe they should have Taylor, Bloom, Nancarrow, Bade, Lennon, Russo, et al, bring in some logo-inscribed item from their past employers and chuck it into the wood chipper, too. Even news anchors need closure sometimes.

Shame on you, CBS 8 in San Diego, for your Tiger Woods coverage...

I don't ask a lot from local news. Like a lot of viewers, I make my decision on which station to watch on a regular basis according to a number of factors, chief among them likability of anchors and reporters. Even though the local CBS affiliate, KFMB Channel 8, has had a number of misfires in the past few years when it comes to keeping talent, I still prefer Barbara-Lee Edwards to pretty much anyone else doing news at 5:00pm each night. And that's even with the cast of dullards who share the anchor desk with her. Better anchors sit at the bottom of San Diego Bay.

So, okay...I get the fact that the Tiger Woods affair(s) story is news, at least to some--maybe even a LOT--of people. I get it that the idol of millions with the--up until now--squeaky clean reputation has let a lot of people down. But I don't get leading your newscast TWO nights in a row with the story, based on the slim local tie that the first woman to admit an affair with the world's most successful professional golfer is from Escondido.

First off, there's a certain snarkiness to all of this. It's really apparent that the first woman who was "revealed" as his mistress this week was all set to show and tell but probably only because the second woman had already made big bucks off of US Weekly (reportedly six figures). So the Rachel chick from NYC gets on a plane to go talk with media-whore/scumbag attorney Gloria Allred in LA and they plan a press conference for today, which gets mysteriously canceled. Why? Well, I'm willing to bet that being the second woman in a week to announce an affair to remember isn't as lucrative as being the first. Ms. Allred saw her payday go up in smoke.

Secondly--and here's the shame on you part, CBS 8--when your lead story consists of a live shot outside of the W Hotel downtown--where, shockingly, Tiger and the Escondido woman had sex (Gosh, who knew people had sex in hotels? I'M STUNNED)--AND a report based entirely on the current issue of US Weekly, it stops being reportage and becomes something akin to plagiarism. And really, really crappy plagiarism at that. I mean, c'mon...seriously? The entire story was lifted from that magazine article and "spiced up" with sleazy tabloid show music, to make it sound even more lurid than it already was. I expect a lot better from both CBS 8 and especially Phil Blauer, who is one of the market's best field reporters. If I want to see crap like this, I'll stay tuned to Entertainment Tonight and Inside Edition, both conveniently also on CBS 8, following directly after the news.

I have my suspicions that maybe CBS 8 has a new news director or a new consultant or something. The music on the news opens changed this week, and that's almost always the first thing a new news director or consultant does, just to pee in the corners and mark their territory. Next will be graphics and/or the set (except in this economy, the latter costs a fortune for little or no payback...I'm still convinced that viewers watch based on talent and not how pretty the set and graphics look, but no news director buys that thought process). A new news director might also signal a different attitude as to how news is covered on any particular station. And anyone who has worked in TV news for even a short time knows that often reporters have little say on what they're covering when they get into work. I'm willing to give Phil--and anyone else stuck with a particularly stupid or lurid story (you get to decide which the Tiger Woods story is)--the benefit of the doubt on that.

This story may very well be Tiger's downfall--a least on some level--and the news media seems to be taking particular delight with that fact, especially CBS 8. But if you don't mind, from now on I'll just play through. I think we all need a drink at the 19th hole--and maybe a shower, too--after watching the sleazefest I saw at both 5:00 and 6:30pm tonight.

Duck and cover part two: Don't send the assignment editor...

It's interesting to hear/see (mostly hear) breaking news outside your window and then see how the local TV stations react to it. Yesterday's shooting at the corner of Fourth Ave. and E St. in downtown San Diego--literally spitting distance from my window, if the wind is with me--became last night's lead story on all the stations. You can read my original post here.

When it comes to airtime, San Diego TV news has shrunk in the past few years. Only NBC 7/39 is on the air at 4:30-5:00pm these weekdays. Channel 10 is partying with Who Wants to be a Millionaire and Channel 8 is whooping it up Oprah-style. KUSI (sorry...make that K-YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-SI) doesn't have one of it's 10,000 daily news shows with blond female anchors and their aging male counterparts (seriously...that station's news shows looks like a trophy wife reunion) on until 6:00pm. So NBC 7/39 was the only station on the air live with the breaking news story of the homeless man shot downtown after brandishing a steak knife that he stole from a local restaurant.

The station is also the only one located in downtown San Diego. In fact, they're located just a block away from the shooting. (They too are within spitting distance, and trust me: news reporters can spit. I knew this guy in Pittsburgh who carried a styrofoam cup around to always spit his chaw out. But I digress.) Within 2 minutes of the shooting a helicopter was overhead. I'm not sure if it was police or a news organization. Within 8 minutes of the shooting, NBC 7/39 had a "reporter" on the scene with a cellphone.

And that was their fatal mistake. Because the person on the phone was clearly not a reporter, she was an assignment editor. And she had to only utter ONE word on live TV to make that distinction perfectly clear. Don't get me wrong: When I worked in TV news, I loved the assignment editors. (One in particular, and she taught me a valuable life lesson: you get just as many flies with honey as you do with shit. That's why she was so good at what she did.)

So there's the very professional and well-spoken Catherine Garcia throwing to the assignment editor on the phone. And what comes back--to everyone's surprise, I'm guessing, especially Catherine Garcia--is this sing-songy "HELLLLLLLLLLL-O!" We're then treated to a Valley Girl rendition of a crime scene with "a guy" laying in the street, and the "guy" might be homeless and the "guy" might be dead.

Needless to say, the report was cut short. NBC 7/39 went to commercial break, reported on a few more stories, then threw back to the live shooting scene and the voice on the other end of the phone was that of a much more authoritative male, using official news-type words like "allegedly," "assailant," and "steak-knife." Cooler heads evidently prevailed.

So, kudos to NBC 7/39 for reacting so quickly to local breaking news, especially when it's right around the corner from them. Oh, and next time? Don't react so quickly. Or at least don't send the assignment editor. I'm hoping that the producer who yelled "YOU! Grab a cellphone and get over there NOW!" is still sitting in a corner in a well-deserved time-out. Because breaking news is so much better when it's reported by someone who doesn't break it even more.

Best local news headline of the evening...

"Orange County man caught with birds stuffed in his pants." Write your own story, folks.