Innocent Bystander

The perfect Christmas gift for all you Innocent Bystander fans!

You know that book cover that's at the top of the right sidebar? That's a book we here at Innocent Bystander published. It's a novel. Seriously. And it would make the perfect (CHEAP) Christmas gift.

First, a little history. When we first started blogging, way back when (so far way back when that we had to use a stick in gravel to write the words, then take a digital photo of it to upload...okay, it took me a while to catch on to this "blogging" thing), we reprinted the first Dispensanator novel by Rock Hardlin. Long out of print, we were given the rights to the whole series of Dispensanator stories by Hardlin's granddaughter, who is a close personal friend and neighbor of yours truly.

The Dispensanator books were a hit in the late '60s/early '70s and can best be described as a tongue-in-cheek melding of James Bond and Phillip Marlowe. You can read the first chapter by clicking here, and in fact, the whole story is online if you just look for it, chapter-by-chapter, on this here blog (I promise they're not written in gravel.)

But now you can own your very own copy of the first Dispensanator novel, Death Wears Overalls. I printed up a mess of them late last year, and they're for sale for the princely sum (CHEAP) of only $10.00, including postage (we even put it in an envelope and everything). We have a few left--they are going fast, and at the rate they're going, we're be selling them for another 80 years or so--so act now to get your own, autographed copy. You'll have to settle for an autograph from me, as Mr. Hardlin died years ago, but I did edit, design, illustrate (YES! THERE ARE PITCHERS!) and print the damn thing, so consider yourself lucky.

Click here for more info, and to order your very own, autographed, personalized copy, including free mailing envelope and cancelled stamps, shipped to you directly by the United States Postal Service, click the PAYPAL button at the top of the right sidebar.

As an added bonus, the festive red-colored cover is perfect for the holiday season. Order today!

The Dispensanator Book One: Death Wears Overalls

Many moons ago, we published a book, right here on this very blog. It was soon after we started blogging, when we had the good luck to encounter someone who let us re-publish the work of her semi-famous grandfather, the great cult writer Rock Hardlin. Hardlin wrote...well, click here for the whole skinny on this, the first "dead tree" publication to come out of this blog.

If you'd like to order your own copy, click on the PayPal button on the left sidebar. Don't be shy! We have to pay for this folly somehow!

APRIL FOOLS!

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I've been playing a fairly elaborate (well...for me, at least) April Fools joke on you, dear reader, for about the past month. The Dispensanator book, Death Wears Overalls, is a hoax. Never was a series of books on this character. Never was a Rock Hardlin, nor a Log Cabin Books. No one has written in with additional information on either the books or the author. The cover is a fake one I did. All made up. I'm sure most of you probably realized this, but I was shocked at some of my friends asking me about it, and not knowing it was fake. I thought it was too profoundly stupid to be anything but.

My goal was to write an online novel, without a pre-determined plot or outline. I decided to write it in approximately 1,000-word count chapters, at least 10 of them. It was fun while it lasted, but no one has ever commented on it, so I'm uncertain as to how many of you have actually read the entries. If you'd like to partake of the whole Dispensanator experience, you can do so by clicking on the link in the Categories section to the right. Scroll down to the bottom to start from Chapter One, and happy reading!

The Dispensanator, Chapter Ten!

Here it is! The final chapter of the first book of The Dispensanator series: Death Wears Overalls! We ride to the incredible conclusion in this chapter, but The Dispensanator isn't dead on this blog...yet. Stay tuned for an announcement concerning this book and future books in the series!

And now...the final chapter of Death Wears Overalls!

The Dispensanator, Chapter Nine!

It's the penultimate chapter of the first book in The Dispensanator series, Death Wears Overalls. With only one chapter to go after this (which will appear by the end of the week, we promise!), we finally get some answers as to what exactly is going on in this 24-hour period in the life of the 4th or 5th greatest secret agent (retired) ever! Hold onto your hats, folks...or any other clothing that may be in imminent danger of falling off...this one's a barn-burner!

The Dispensanator, Chapter Eight!

Okay...here's Chapter Eight of our reprinting of the first book in The Dispensanator series: Death Wears Overalls! There's only 2 chapters left after this one, and along those lines, we heard from Bob Kanoush of Medea, Ohio the other day, who wrote:

"I have 8 Log Cabin books, 3 of which are Dispensanator titles. Not only are they all only 80 pages each, but all of them are also 10 chapters each. It's almost like someone as anal as Howard Huges came up with the requirements for writing for Log Cabin. But I'm also guessing that 80 pages had something to do with how they were printed and trimmed, like some kind of press requirement. All the books have horrible cover 'art.' In fact, it pains me to call it that. The Dispensantor books all have the same hand holding the same gun, just different colors each time."

To read all the Dispensanator chapters to date, click on the category to the right. To read the current chapter, click on the light blue link below.

The Dispensanator, Chapter Seven!

Time for another chapter of The Dispensanator: Death Wears Overalls. We're in the second half of the book now, and things are heating up. Is that transsexual, former KGB agent, stripper an ally of our hero, or a literal Red herring? Is Manley really Manfred? Is Marsha not only two-breasted, but also two-faced? And what about those five starving Dobermans with their mouths sealed shut with Silly Putty? WHAT?! You haven't been reading? Get on with it, man (or woman)! Click on the light blue link below to read the latest chapter in our reprinting of this fabulous 60s series, or on The Dispensanator category on the right to start from chapter one (scroll down to the end...the chapters are in descending order). Don't miss the pop culture find of 2005!

The Dispensanator, Chapter Six!

Man! This just keeps getting better and better!

We hope you're keeping up with our reprinting of the thrilling first book in the ultra-rare 60s and 70s paperback series, The Dispensanator: Death Wears Overalls. We're up to Chapter Six. Nobody seems to be commenting much on this, partly because I think Rock Hardlin is one of those pop culture icons who soared for a few years, and then fizzled out. It also doesn't help that The Dispensanator movie rights knocked around Hollywood for a couple of years (for a short time with both Robert Mitchum and Burt Reynolds attached as the lead at separate projects at different studios), without actually getting made. More on that later, because we are starting to get more e-mails from people revealing what they know, both about Hardlin and Log Cabin Books. Info on Hardlin is sketchy for a reason, according to his grandaughter, who lives in my building, and is graciously offering this free reprint to us. (Thanks, Kimberly!) So let's get right back to it...(click the pale blue link below for Chapter Six!)

The Dispensanator, Chapter Five!

We continue with our thrilling reprinting of the first Dispensanator novel, Death Wears Overalls. We're being inundated with mail on this rare find, and we will try and include some of it next time. But for now, marvel at the exciting fifth chapter in this rare book! (Click the link below to read Chapter Five.)

The Dispensanator, Chapter Four!

Let's get right to it, folks...Chapter Four of Book One of The Dispensanator series: Death Wears Overalls. (Click the link below to read!)