Innocent Bystander

My weekend with Warren Beatty...

Having just read Peter Biskind's excellent biography of actor/producer/director/Playboy of the Western World Warren Beatty (click here to read my review), I decided it was high-time I reacquainted myself with some of Mr. Beatty's movies. My total sum of knowledge of his oeuvre is based almost solely on Bonnie and Clyde, a movie he produced and starred in, but didn't write or direct.

My weekend Beatty viewing party started with Shampoo, his 1975 movie about a free-swinging hairdresser in Los Angeles during the fall of our discontent, i.e. 1968, the year Nixon was elected president of these here United States. Beatty plays George Roundy, a "full-service" hairdresser who, while not correcting anyone when they think he's stereotypically gay, is meanwhile scoring with just about all his lady clients (a condition Beatty was known for offscreen as well). Shampoo was considered incredibly shocking for its time, and other than Beatty banging (offscreen) the teenage Carrie Fisher (the daughter of one his "clients," played by Lee Grant), and "that" line from a drunk Julie Christie ("I want to suck his cock!"), it's really kind of tame by today's standards. Still, people walked out of preview screenings when Christie offered that bon mot back then. I suppose Beatty and director Hal Ashby captured a specific time in a bottle with this film, but it's not a pleasant time. And it's one of those films that looks incredibly dated now. It always amazes me that I can watch The Maltese Falcon or Casablanca and accept their eras and looks so readily. Those films are timeless to me, but something that was filmed in an era in which I grew up or older, looks almost laughable. For as cutting edge and nervy as Shampoo was back then, it's not now. Shampoo contains probably the best single performance by Goldie Hawn I've ever seen in a movie, right at the point where she was becoming a star, and before she became "Goldie Hawn" as we know her today.

I had recorded and saved The Parallax View, in anticipation of my Beatty book reading, way back around Christmas time when it aired on TCM. I had never seen it before. It's a 1974 political thriller directed by Alan Pakula, who would go on to make the ultimate political/journalism thriller in 1976 with All the President's Men. There are a lot of similarities between the two films, including the journalism background, the feeling of creeping paranoia, and most of all, the music (David Shire did the music for both films). Beatty is much more of an actor in this than he is in Shampoo, but that probably has more to do with his character than any kind of acting "style." He plays a down-on-his-luck Seattle based reporter who is present when a Senator is assassinated on the Space Needle. Three years later, everyone who was a witness has pretty much died. He's drawn in to investigating this when a TV reporter (Paula Prentiss, wasted in a three-minute role), comes to him to alert him that all these people are dead, and she fears she's next. The movie itself is convoluted and nonsensical at times, and you never really get the answer as to why everything is happening, other than some shadowy organization exists to train assassins. And it's another 1970s movie that wears its era like an albatross around its neck.

Next up for me was Bugsy, which I had never seen before. I love these kind of historical epic films, especially when gangsters are involved, and Beatty and director Barry Levinson do a fine job with the story of the legendary Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, the gangster who "invented" Las Vegas. This is also the film in which Beatty cast and wooed Annette Bening, the woman who he actually settled down with (the couple has four children). This is probably Beatty's best performance, and it shows how good he can be as an actor with a strong director. The film itself is episodic and a bit disjointed because of it, but hey...so is history. And there is real chemistry between Bening and Beatty.

Last but not least there's Beatty's epic, his Citizen Kane, Reds. It is a sweeping David Lean-esque filmabout John Reed, the American writer who became a part of the Russian Revolution in 1917 and beyond and is the only American buried in the Kremlin. Beatty, who co-wrote, produced, directed, and cattle-prodded his way onto the screen with this 3 hour and 15 minute piece—during a time (1981) when America was turning more and more conservative under Ronald Reagan—was coming off an unprecedented success with Heaven Can Wait, his directorial debut. Co-starring his current girlfriend at the time, Diane Keaton (herself coming off Annie Hall and Looking for Mr. Goodbar) as Louise Bryant and Jack Nicholson as playwright Eugene O'Neill, plus a cast of thousands, this movie only really heats up in the second half, after the intermission (yes...it's so long it has an intermission), when Reed is stranded in Russia and Bryant goes looking for him, crossing the frozen tundra of red-hating Finland and risking life and limb to find him. At its heart, Reds is a love story, and if Beatty isn't on the screen, Keaton is, and they are incredibly compelling together (even if she ended up despising him by the end of the shoot). Keaton is best known for her comedies, first with Woody Allen, and more recently as the incredibly intelligent yet ditzy woman who almost always plays the writer or editor or whatever in a series of forgettable films that make you want to cry out, "Say NO once in a while!" (to movie offers, that is). She has never been better as an actress than in this film, and she has Beatty to thank for that. The film was nominated for 12 Oscars and won 3, including Best Director for Beatty. Reds is long, boring at times, even more so preachy, but wonderful when it focuses on the relationship between Reed and Bryant, which is--fortunately--most of the time.

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

I don't know what to tell you about Inglourious Basterds (mercifully shortened to IB from now on, since the anal-compulsive in me can't stand to continue to type those misspellings), the war epic from Quentin Tarantino (also shortened to QT, with definitely NO pun intended on the pronunciation of said abbreviation). Part of me liked it, part of me hated, Hated, HATED it. I'm just trying to figure out which part is going to win.

First of all, it's 2 hours and 30 minutes long, and the bulk of the film is people sitting around tables talking. Excuse me, TALKING. Endlessly TALKING. The opening sequence alone--where Nazi SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Walz) interrogates a French farmer he suspects of harboring Jews--is 20 minutes long and except for about 30 seconds of shooting, it's all talk, part of it in French, no less. They talk so much that any suspense that would be inherent in the scene is entirely gone, blown out the door by all the talking. While Walz is great (he reminded me of a European James Wood, with a lot less snark and a bit more class), it's still 20 minutes of talking heads. And it illustrates the one thing wrong with every Tarantino movie: The guy has no comprehension of how to edit a script. He's in love with the sound of his own voice.

There are a number of other similar sequences, in this surprisingly plot-less, even more surprisingly action-less action flick. (Okay...Brad Pitt and his merry band of soldiers go around France killing Nazis and taking their scalps: That's the plot. This--to me at least--is a typical QT exercise in filmmaking: A bunch of "cool" scenes thought up and strung together to roughly form a movie.) Pitt really isn't even in it that much, and I think the whole subplot (if a film without a plot can have one, that is) about Shoshana (Melanie Laurent) and her Parisian cinema, is much more fascinating than Pitt and company going around the country scalpin' Nat-zies. Pitt goes for a kind of Clark Gable/GWTW kind of characterization here, with a little more emphasis on the downhome corn pone aspect of the accent. He's charming and effective, but I can't recall a scene where he even fires a gun. And that's part of the problem...where's the action? While QT does blow the doors off the joint at the end, there's really nothing before that scene that makes you think this is a shoot 'em up/blow 'em up movie. Maybe I was expecting too much, but you know...the whole WAR movie thing comes with a certain level of expectation, n'est-ce pas?

So what did I like? Well, as always QT is a witty and fascinating writer, if a bit long-winded and self-aggrandizing, so even those ENDLESS table talks are enjoyable. Pitt and company--and we see far, far too little of the Basterds and barely get to know them--are good, too, and it is a pretty film to watch. I think Melanie Laurent was wonderful as the escaped Jew who gets her chance at revenge. That single final action scene is pretty breath-taking and looked incredibly dangerous to film. And then there is the great pleasure of seeing one person in particular getting killed. That's worth the $12.00* price of admission for this Blu-ray movie.

*Here's my tip of the day: If you buy DVDs or Blu-rays from your local Best Buy, look at the price on their website first, on the day it comes out (usually Tuesdays). The in-store price for IG on Blu-ray was $22.99 (list price $29.99). The online price on the Best Buy website was $17.99. Print out the page where it's listed and take it with you and present it when you check out. They will match the price if it's lower on their own website, but it'll only work in that first week (Tuesday-Saturday) window when the movie premieres on Blu-ray. I also had a $5.00 rewards certificate, so I got this film for $12.99 + tax (which brought it to about $14.00 here in San Diego).

North by Northwest (1959)

I don't ever really plan to be stuck on a desert island and if I am, the presence of a DVD player, a widescreen TV and an unlimited--not to mention FREE--power source are probably going to be imaginary at best, but if I was, and I was limited to ONE film (or one DVD) and not the usual ten, I do believe I'd pick North by Northwest, Alfred Hitchcock's 1959 classic which is the quintessential Hitchcock film.

NxNW (as we shall mercifully shorten it to at this point) is now out in a new 50th anniversary edition, available on both regular, old-fashioned DVD and Blu-ray. The latter edition comes in Warner Bros. fancy-schmancy "cinebook" edition, which means you get a free little book bound into the box. I love this format, and I wish every film came this way. Well, maybe not The Ugly Truth. Or anything else with Katherine Heigl.

NxNW looks amazing on Blu-ray and it certainly adds to the enjoyment of this classic flick. For those of you who don't know it, the movie features Cary Grant as a Madison Ave. ad-man (Mad Man!) who gets caught up in a mistaken identity plot that has him chasing across the country after the imaginary man he's supposed to be, George Kaplan. It's implausible, impossible, and thoroughly enjoyable. Built around a couple of Hitchcockian set piece ideas (he wanted to see a man out in the open chased by an airplane and a man being chased across the faces of Mt. Rushmore), Ernest Lehman's script takes both those tentpole ideas and strings an elaborate gold-laced Taj Mahal of a tent around them. Grant--or shall we say Roger O. Thornhill--finds himself sucked deeper and deeper in the plot, which involves a femme fatale (the great Eva Marie Saint) a menacing villain (the wonderful James Mason) and his sinister henchmen (including an early role for Martin Landau). Leo G. Carroll and Jessie Royce Landis complete the cast as the G-man mastermind and Thornhill's mother. It's fast, funny, and furious and the biplane scene is as much a classic bit of cinema as the shower scene from Hitchcock's next film, Psycho.

Grant though is the real star in a role that's tailor-made for him. Jimmy Stewart was the original choice, but after the relative failure of Vertigo at the box office, Hitchcock thought Stewart played too old. Ironically Grant was a few years older in real life, but he looks and acts like a man in his late 30s/early 40s in this, active, virile and a total alpha male. His scenes with Saint, who plays the 26-year-old Eve Kendall are super hot (watch for the train scene where they have dinner in the dining car) and went as far as they could with the censors of the time.

The disc is topped off with two new documentaries, one on the "Hitchcock Touch," the other on "NxNW: One for the Ages." Both feature new interviews with directors, including William Friedkin, Guillermo del Toro, Curtis Hanson, Francis Lawrence, and screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie, all extolling the virtues of both Hitchcock and the film. Two other older docs are also featured, including one on the making of the film and one on Cary Grant ("A Class Apart," from 2004--which is excellent...it doesn't get any better than his ex-wife, Betsy Drake, saying she and Grant were too busy fucking to worry about the rumors about him being gay).

Soon after watching NxNW, I watched the second James Bond movie, From Russia With Love, and realized what a huge debt that film--and Sean Connery's portrayal of James Bond, in general--owed to Cary Grant. Grant might have always been playing himself--or rather, the "himself" he created when he went from being Archie Leach to Cary Grant--but many people have tried to be him, too. Too bad he wasn't ten years younger when Bond made it to the big screen.

But beyond all that musing of what if's and who shoulda, I think I finally have the answer to the age-old question as to what is my all-time favorite movie. North by Northwest has it all: a magnetic star at the top of his game, a director doing the best film of his career, a sexy female spy, one of the best villains in movies, and a musical score by Bernard Herrmann that his among his personal best. I could watch this movie again and again...in fact, I think I might just go do that right now.

X-Men Trilogy on Blu-ray...

Twentieth Century Fox has just released all 3 X-Men films on Blu-ray. The best way to enjoy them is the spiffy boxed set (you can get your own here, but only if you have a Blu-ray player; otherwise you may want to use them as coasters), and I watched all 3 films (X-Men, X-2: X-Men United, and X-Men: The Last Stand) over the past few days.

Fox tends to make the crappiest of superhero films--witness both Fantastic 4 films, Daredevil, Elektra, and the very sad League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), mainly, I think, because they're such a cheap-ass studio. I really think the first 2 X-Men films were made by the sheer force of will of director Bryan Singer. The first one is good, the second one wonderful. Singer left the third one to go do the blah Superman Returns, but I think it has its moments, even though Mr. Rush Hour, Brett Ratner, directed it.

A lot of things work in the X-Men films, a lot of things don't. Hugh Jackman nails Wolverine from the first moment we see him. Anna Paquin as Rogue, not so much. Sir Ian McKellen is excellent as Magneto, and Patrick Stewart is obvious dream casting as Professor X. I'm indifferent to James Marsden and Famke Janssen as Cyclops and Jean Grey (although the latter is much better in the third film). And then, of course, there's Halle Berry, who went into the second film coming off a Best Actress Oscar for Monsters Ball. Berry had very little to do as Storm in the first film, and her role enlarged in the second and third. But the movie version of Storm is incredibly unimpressive. When Storm's powers come into play, Berry's eyes glaze over and she gets this vacuous, blank look on her face. In other words, her normal acting style. She also occasionally levitates.

But Jackman is the real star of all 3 films, and it was a star-making turn for him, something he readily acknowledged at Comic-Con last year. I'm a bit on the fence about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which debuts this Friday. It looks exceedingly lame, like once again a movie studio has crammed 10 pounds of horse manure into a 5-pound sack, what with all the other mutants hanging out in the previews alone. Still, Jackman is always worth watching (even in the forgettable Swordfish, the film in which Ms. Berry augmented her usual acting style by flashing her breasts for an extra $500,000; for the record, they were blank, but not so vacuous). I suppose I'll go see Wolverine--the unofficial fourth X-Men film--next weekend, but I'm just going out of respect for Jackman. Let's just say I might be doing him a Hugh-ge favor.

Max Fleischer's Superman 1941–1942...

Warner Bros.' new--but old--collection of the classic 1940s Superman cartoons is certainly worthy of your attention. These ground-breaking shorts, made in the character's infancy, helped define the hero as we know him today. Beyond that distinction, they're absolutely gorgeous-looking cartoons, beautiful in their simplicty of design and their breath-taking backgrounds.

This is a 2-disc set, utilizing the same remastered cartoons that were included in that big metal Superman box, which came out in 2006 and featured all the Christopher Reeve films, plus Bryan Singer's Superman Returns. Still, this standalone set is a perfect companion for WB's excellent Popeye series, also by Fleischer. The title of this set is a bit incorrect, though. Fleischer did the first 9 cartoons (the first disc); the remaining 8 were finished by Famous Studios after Paramount took over the Fleischer's studio in Florida. While the non-Fleischer cartoons are still something to behold, there is a slight loss of quality between the 2 discs. (Superman, for example, suddenly goes sans belt.) Some of the latter cartoons are beautiful, though, especially "Jungle Drums" and "Underground World," which features a race of hawkmen. The latter films also deal more with World War II propaganda, but that might have been something that even Max Fleischer couldn't fight. (Note that there's a small error on the menu for the second disc; "Destruction, Inc." was released in 1942, not 1943. The cartoons are presented in the order in which they were released.)

I grew up on these cartoons and can remember being absolutely thrilled every time one appeared on TV. I watched Captain Jack McCarthy's Popeye show on Channel 11, WPIX, out of New York City each afternoon, and occasionally Capt. Jack--or the great Chuck McCann on Sunday's "Let's Have Fun" show--would throw one of these in. With our brand new color TV (purchased in 1962 solely so we could watch Bonanza and baseball in glorious "living color"), I can vividly remember seeing these later on in the 60s for the first time in color, and being blown away again by them.

This set also features two previously released documentaries: the way too short "First Flight: The Fleischer Superman Series," which features Bruce Timm and Paul Dini, among others, talking about the far-reaching influence of this series, and the tedious and boring "The Man, the Myth, Superman," another in a series of DC/WB documentaries which includes long, drawn-out commentaries by doctors, philosophers, and authors about myth, supermen, and all things yada-yada-yada. I sincerely wish WB would get off this track and just present documentaries which dealt with the history of the characters in comics, movies, TV, etc. I'd much rather see a fun doc on licensed products than watch some boring professor trot out cave drawings and Greek mythology once again.

Many video companies have released these Superman cartoons over the years, claiming they're in public domain. I ordered my copy from Amazon, because the local Best Buy didn't seem to carry it. I can't say I blame them; these things sometimes go for $4.99 at WalMart, so a new collection at the suggested price of $26.99 doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but trust me: it's worth it. These are beautiful cartoons in the best presentation you'll ever see. If you're a fan of these--no matter how many times you've seen them--you owe yourself the small luxury of buying them again in this spiffy--and "absolute"--new edition.

Does anyone know where The Pixar Story documentary is on the Wall E Blu-ray DVD?

Okay...I've just spent close to an hour--in HOLIDAY TIME, to boot!--looking for The Pixar Story documentary on both discs of the Wall E Blu-ray set, and searching for info on the Internet about where it may be located. Does anyone know where the damn thing is? It's listed on the box, but it comes up on none of the menus--at least that I can find--on either disc. Does it actually exist on the 2-disc Blu-ray edition, and if so, WHERE THE HELL IS IT?

I'm also in possession of the Touch of Evil 50th Anniversary Edition DVD, another 2-disc set with a plethora of bonus features. All the features are clearly marked on both the backs of the slipcase and the DVD case. Neither of them tell you which disc they're on, though. Whatever happened to the little inserts each studio included with their DVDs, which listed the contents of each disc? Are the studios that tight with money these days that they can't offer a simple, helpful ammenity like this to those of us who are buying these things? Jesus...raise the price a $1.00 and make 98 cents off the cost of doing a simple 1-page, 2-sided card that's a table of contents for the product you're selling!

My sincere thanks if you can help me figure out The Pixar Story conundrum.

WALL • E on Blu-ray

The high mark for me of seeing any movie in a theater these days is whether or not I want to buy it when it comes out on DVD a few months later. There's never any doubt in my mind when it comes to a Pixar film, and WALL • E is no exception. It's out as of today on DVD, and you really haven't seen it until you've seen it on an HDTV in Blu-ray.

I have a slightly inferior set-up at home, mainly due to the fact that I bought a cheaper HDTV about 3 years ago and I don't have a true HDMI connection, but even on my set, WALL • E was incredible. Vivid colors, crisp, precise textures, the grain of the dirt on earth, the twinkle of the stars in space: it's all amazing on Blu-ray. If you're smart and brave the store wars on Black Friday next week, I'm sure you'll find some great deals on Blu-ray players and HDTVs. Do yourself a favor--providing you're not heavily invested in the stock market, and still gainfully employed--and invest in a Blu-ray player and a new HDTV. After all, all broadcast TV and cable networks must start sending out a digital signal as of February, so you might as well beat the rush now. And if you do so, do yourself a bonus move and make that first Blu-ray DVD a Pixar one. In addition to WALL • E, you can also get Cars, Ratatouille, or the Pixar Short Film Collection. Don't worry...everything else by them will be available in the years ahead, as this still-new format is perfected. In addition to the original film, you also get the great short Presto, which was with the movie in its original theatrical release, plus a brand new short, BURN • E. A second disc features the documentary The Pixar Story.

You can read my original review of WALL • E by clicking here. Nothing has changed in my assessment of this wonderful, beautiful, and touching film, one of Pixar's best (and when they're all Grade A movies, that's saying a lot), except to add it's even better at home.

30 Rock Season 2

I just finished watching the abbreviated second season of 30 Rock, Tina Fey's Emmy Award-winning comedy about a Saturday Night Live TV show. It was abbreviated to only 15 episodes due to the Writers' Strike.

While I love The Office, I think 30 Rock has become my favorite show on network TV, which isn't really saying a lot, because I don't watch a lot of network TV these days. Let's see, there's 30 Rock, The Office, Fringe, Chuck, The Big Bang Theory, and Heroes (which is on the bubble again for me) and 24 and Lost (when they come back in January). So I guess I watch more than I think I do. But I fast forward through most of the commercials, so I cut 60 minutes down to about 45. That's a bonus, right?

But I digress. Watching these shows on DVD is a real kick, because you get to see them sans commercials (without wearing out your finger pressing that remote fast forward button) and then there's the extras. 30 Rock isn't like The Office, sadly, in that respect. There's not a lot of deleted scenes. Since The Office utilizes improv a lot more, there's a lot of leftovers.

There are some great extras on this set though, including the strike benefit Fey and company produced at the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York City. The actors and writers banded together to present a live performance of episode 8 of season 2, to benefit the production assistants who were laid off by NBC during the strike. While a little hard to hear at times, and very badly shot on home video, it's still a hoot to see an episode performed live, like a play. (The UCB theater evidently seats about a 100 people, and 30 Rock has a big cast and crew.) There's also a live table reading of the last episode ("Cooter") of the season, and excerpts from the cast appearing at "An Evening with 30 Rock" for the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, hosted by NBC news anchor Brian Williams, who is woefully miscast. (A personal note to Brian: let the funny people be funny; just read the questions. You're giving the nautical impression of what an anchor does in this case.)

While Alec Baldwin regularly steals the show on 30 Rock, Tina Fey is the star, make no doubt about it. Fey is in charge both on the screen and behind the scenes, and is such an appealing star. Maybe it's the glasses, maybe it's those soft brown eyes and that nerd-like wit that remind me so much of someone far away. Maybe it's the realization that you probably wouldn't have given this woman a second look in high school, and then one day a friend happens across your yearbook and opens it up and immediately comes to her photo and says "WHO IS THAT?!" and you realize, in a head-hitting moment, I could have totally dated her, and you tell your friend that she was the smart, funny, shy one that no one paid attention to. Whatever it is--and it certainly has increased with her on-point imitation of the pointless Sarah Palin--I heart Tina Fey. Her Liz Lemon is funny, sexy, nerdy, and just a little sad at times. (Oh, and I also heart Jane Krasinksi, especially when she sings.)

Season 3 debuts on NBC on October 30. Blurg.

At last...a new edition of L. A. Confidential!

One of my favorite movies is coming back all spruced up in a new 2-disc set, and on Blu-Ray to boot. L. A. Confidential is up there (along with To Kill A Mockingbird) as one of the best book-to-screen adaptations ever. In fact, like The Godfather and a very select other few films, it actually improves upon James Ellroy's novel. Part of that is necessity: LAC is part 3 of Ellroy's "L. A. Quartet" of interrelated novels, which feature some common characters (like boss cop Dudley Smith) throughout the narrative. LAC, the movie, also has inspired "newcomer" performances by Aussie actors Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe, a great "comeback"--and Oscar-winning, for Best Supporting Actress--turn by Kim Basinger, and good performances from Kevin Spacey and James Cromwell. Watch the extras (I'm hoping the original DVD's release bonus features are included) to find out how (and where) director Curtis Hanson pitched the movie to Spacey, and the fascinating interactive map of Los Angeles. And if you don't have Blu-Ray yet, don't worry...there's a special 2-disc "regular" DVD edition just for you.

Available to own on DVD or hi-def Blu-ray...

I just saw a commercial for a new movie coming out on DVD, and the title of this post was the tag-line. Pretty familiar, huh? These days--and for quite some time now--movie studios are urging you to buy their movies and own them outright.

It wasn't always like this. When movies first started appearing for home video--in the days of the first great format war, VHS vs. Beta (before Stalin turned the war around in the winter of '43 and battered the Beta-troops back to Berlin), the studios were notoriously hinky about ownership. Movies were sold at exorbitant prices and geared towards a rental-only marketplace. Video stores were expected to buy them at a high rate and earn their money back through repeated rentals. The first movie I ever bought on VHS--Annie Hall--cost $89.95. Now it's $7.49 on DVD on Amazon. In those days, the prospect of owning even a miniscule movie collection on VHS seemed dismal.

Then Paramount took the first big step and released Flashdance and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan at $39.95 each and that opened the flood gates. Prices crept down. A new collectors' mentality was fostered and encouraged, culminating--or so we thought--with the Laserdisc format, one designed specifically for collectors. That in turn brought us DVD, much smaller and cuter, and the studios realized that each one of us, in one way or another, is a collector, and film is the perfect medium to bring that trait out. Everyone has that ONE movie they want to own. Special features, deleted scenes, blooper reels, and commentaries became the norm. DVD fostered the rise of home video for collectors, hard- and soft-core, and at a price point we could all agree upon.

Now it's all poised to go away. You can tell me Blu-ray is the wave of the future. You can slim down the packaging and put that cute little clear-blue topper on the case; you can add even more special features and appeal to the film fanatic in me. But lurking down the road is what the studios wanted all along, the one thing that they've longed for, pined for, dreamed about: complete and utter ownership of their movies.

Anyone with an ounce of brain power knows that Netflix and Blockbuster will soon become download only services. The studios will LEND you their movies, lease them to you, let you watch them, but I'm convinced that the days of owning a movie are over. You can watch but you can't touch. You can't hold it, can't caress it, can't own it. You'll download a movie--in a high-definition format--be able to watch it for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a month, for a fee...and then it will disappear. And the next time you want to watch it, you'll have to rent it again.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the studios will relent and let us own movies, but owning them as a download that exists solely on your computer (or some extra added high-capacity hard drive that comes as part of a service) isn't the same as that array of DVD boxes that sits across from me, looking so warm and inviting. It's soulless and utilitarian at best. Those three filled-to-the-brim shelf units--designed specifically for DVDs, I'll have you know--mean I never have to say I have nothing to watch. Perhaps a hard drive full of choices will speak the same language, but I doubt it. Computers are fragile pieces of equipment, prone to crashes and debilitating data losses. And once the whole Skynet™ thing kicks in, they'll be our enemies anyway.

You laugh (I hope), but I think the Skynet paradigm isn't that far off from the studios' ultimate endgame: complete and total subjugation of the movie-watching public. There will be added perks, of course. Someday our prince will come in the form of on-demand movies for download the same day they premiere in theaters. But that's a lame trade-off. Just as people will always want to go out for a night at the movies, sharing the communal aspect of film-viewing that has been a hallmark of the industry since the days of nickelodeons, people will also want to OWN their favorite films. We might be building a generation of downloaders, rippers and burners, but right now, my peers, my peeps, well, we want to own these films that speak to us. We want the cute little boxes, the nice packaging, the great graphics, the bonus features, the ability to walk over to a shelf, pull out a favorite film, pop it in and sit back and relax. The studios are so enamored with technology they forget who we are: we're a nation of collectors, for better or worse, a country filled with people invested in the pride of ownership. A film on a hard drive becomes software. A movie on DVD--regular or high-octane Blu-ray--becomes a treasured favorite. But the cold hard hearts of studio execs will never be able to appreciate that fine point.