Forget it, Jake...it's Costco...

Last evening I made my way to Costco to get myself a big chicken. I love Costco's big chickens. They're a rotisserie chicken, but they're so much bigger and better than supermarket chickens. And cheaper, too. There's not much else I buy at Costco besides the big chicken. Anything else would require a U-Haul and a forklift to take it home.

So while I was there, utilizing my Costco card that I bought last September for 50 bucks to buy a $5.43 chicken (yeah, I need to work on my math skills), I also happened to peruse the DVD section and came across this startling conversation. A young man--mid 20s or so--was talking to his girlfriend about To Kill A Mockingbird, which was a DVD on display. It had Gregory Peck on the cover and was--obviously--the classic 1962 film about a lawyer and his two children in the South in the 1930s, based on the best-selling novel. And then he said this to his companion:

"Have you ever seen the new version? It's with Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey. It's good...better than this one. It's more about the boys and the trial."

I was too busy having a giant WTF moment, but I almost piped up and said "What the f*ck are you talking about?!" And then I thought a better course of action would be to tell the young woman to drop this loser ASAP and go lose herself in IKEA across the parking lot. Because if he thought Bullock and McConaughey starred in a "modern" version of To Kill A Mockingbird--and PREFERRED it to the original--he was severely brain-damaged. (For the record, he obviously thought that A Time to Kill--based on a John Grisham novel--was somehow a remake of TKAM. I don't even want to know how he arrived at this decision or what short bus he rode to get there.)

Everyone is an expert on everything, especially at Costco. And that's what I needed to remember: forget it, Gary...it's Costco...

 

Comments

[Kitchen Encounters]

I have a clear & concise picture of the look on your face while you were overhearing this conversation!

[George Popichak]

I'm not sure you can get a gross of paper towels in Chinatown, though.
That would have been worth butting into the conversation. "A Time to Kill" will not get many grown men on the verge of tears. And I doubt that anyone's naming children after Matthew McConaughey's character. Tell her to "run, run as fast as your little legs will carry you and don't look back!"