This week's installment of The List is simple and to the point: I'm sick of these people on my TV. Whether or not I actually watch their shows isn't the point...with the onslaught of nightly promos, they're impossible to avoid.
1. Any judge on American Idol. I don't watch the show, but man, am I sick of seeing the relatively talentless Jennifer Lopez slow-motion prance with her arms in the air along with the haggard-looking Stephen Tyler on promo after promo after promo. Want to see what Joan Rivers looks like without all that plastic surgery? Take a peak at Tyler. They're identical twins.
2. Any celebrity on Celebrity Apprentice. Seriously....qho at NBC decides the line-up of celebs for this show? SATAN?! Besides our host, Captain Combover, this new season has Gary Busey, Meat Loaf, LaToya Jackson, Star Jones, David Cassidy, the other Richard Hatch, Lisa Rinna, and NeNe Leakes...wait, who--or WHAT--the f*ck is a NeNe Leakes? Judging solely from the commercials, she's the first Celebrity Apprentice to be beaten to death by her co-stars. And not a jury in the country will convict them.
3. Charlie Sheen. You're making over a million dollars an episode (reportedly $1.25 million, to be exact,) you have about 26 episodes to go (this season and next) on your contract and you pick NOW to go sober and fly off the handle? Two years from now, when you're signing autographs at the Hollywood Autograph Show next to Robert Blake and the voice of My Mother the Car, remember the $32.5 million you just kissed good-bye. If you're really sober now, I liked you so much better when you were coked up and drunk. Sober, you're just bat-shit crazy.
4. Jay Leno. Please...just go do stand-up in Branson full-time.
5. Regis Philbin. What becomes a legend most? RETIREMENT. Larry King went away, you should do as you said you would, Regis, and join him. Take Ripa with you, too. And Gelman.
I'm ready for Oprah to take a hike too!
Posted by: Kitchen Encounters | March 02, 2011 at 04:53 PM
I enjoy reading your blog! I don't really mind all that stuff because I don't watch TV that much but I respect your comments.
Posted by: Brad Fallon | March 02, 2011 at 12:45 AM