Reading each issue of Entertainment Weekly is like gambling on a slot machine: you pull the handle and wait to see what pops up of interest. Sometimes you get three cherries, three great feature articles that you can't wait to dive into. And sometimes you get zilch. But rarely have I seen an issue like the April 2 one, featuring the imminently forgettable Katherine Heigl in an "angelic" pose on the cover. It has the added bonus of being an EW cover that makes you wonder "Who the hell is that?"
The cover feature is on Heigl leaving Grey's Anatomy, a story that seems so old you'd think the rest of the issue would have interviews with new stars Burt Lancaster and Gregory Peck. Heigl became a newly-minted star herself with her turn in Judd Apatow's Knocked Up. She coasted on the new found fame of movie stardom while Apatow was still making movies that were remotely appealing and she has yet to make another movie that is even semi-enjoyable. The Ugly Truth, anyone? I rest my case. She's the poster child for spoiled stardom.
But this issue doesn't stop there. It goes on to become a pop culture masterpiece when it comes to turning me off. An American Idol article? Check! "Tiger Woods Checks Into Image Rehab?" Check! Articles on both Miley Cyrus AND Jennifer Lopez? Check AND double-check! (My sixth addition to "5 Ways Jennifer Lopez Can Get Back on Top:" Retire gracefully.) And of course the obligatory blowjob to some sort of "legendary" Hollywood figure, this time producer Jerry Weintraub. Check!
I love Entertainment Weekly and I've read every issue since its inception back in 1990. But boy, when it's bad, it's really f*cking bad, and this week's issue is a new nadir. But that photo of an unrecognizable Heigl on the cover--best known as a blonde, now a brunette--sure is crying out for a Sharpie mustache and goatie.
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