I love Facebook. Where else can you find old friends to reconnect with, new friends to keep up with, and check up on women you really wish you were dating and make sure their status still reads "Single."
I hate Facebook. Where else can you find useless information on people you could care less about, new people bothering you to "friend" them or become their "fans," and check up on women you really wish you were dating and find out their status now reads "In a relationship..." and it's not with you.
But here's the thing about Facebook. They watch you and when they feel you're in a weak moment, they pounce. Those little FB ads running down the right hand side of the screen are their way of reminding you that something is lacking in your life, something important is missing. Gosh, I don't know what they're trying to tell me, but here's a collection of ads from Facebook that appeared on my profile in one night, basically urging me to find a one-night stand.
And while I couldn't seem to find the classic ones that had been appearing in the weeks before I grabbed (in a chaste and purely for research type of way, I assure you, dear reader) these screen shots, this is the primary type of advertising that I'm assaulted with each and every time I log onto FB. Those "classic" ads featured women with huge breasts. I mean ginormous boobs, so big that they were one Photoshop "Scale" below ridiculously cartoonish. (If they pop up again, I'll grab them and share them with you. That's what she said.)
Here's the deal with Facebook. They're obviously playing on the fact that I'm listed as being "single" and of a...let's just say, "certain age." (I like to think of it as "mature" as opposed to "elderly and senile," but this is open to argument.) So I get these ads urging me to meet "local BBWs" or "mature singles" or "view females online." It's the INTERNET, Facebook...do you honestly think I haven't already viewed females online? Why do you think the Internet was invented?
Occasionally, when I'm in a grumpier than usual mood, I tell Facebook I don't like these ads, that I find them offensive, by clicking that little "x" in the upper right corner of each one. They ask me what's wrong, bubby...why don't you like these ads, but unfortunately there is no response that allows me to tell them I need no reminders that I'm single and that I do indeed like big boobs. Or women with glasses. Or women over 50, or women who are single, mature, in their 40s and younger women who like older men like myself. I don't need targeted advertising to tell me any of this. I know this all to be true.
And so this is why I hate Facebook, even while I love it.
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