No, I don't need a term paper, thank you very much...

It is, perhaps, a sign of the times in which we live, or more correctly, in which I live. I have been making a concerted effort to blog every day, and I'm happy to say I've gone 31 for 31 in the month of January. Yes, I know...I cheat every Friday with "Friday Foto," but they're nice photos, aren't they? And they're all by me, so get over it.

I have been rewarded with this renewed dedication to blogging with growing stats. After peaking at about 300/day, I started to fall a bit, but now it's going back up. I don't know if more people are logging in each day ("Logging in" is the Internet equivalent of "tuning in," right? Discuss.), or if it's still the same people who come here because they Googled Chrissy Russo, Susan Lennon, Kathleen Bade or "Always bet on black!" that immortal quote from Wesley Snipes in the classic film Passenger 57. Either way, my statistics are on the upswing (and without me taking a little blue pill, too!), so I'm grateful for that.

But with increased traffic comes more comments and lately I've been bombarded with spam comments from people who sell term papers online. They'll find an older post and leave a comment on it, thinking I'll never find it. HA! I laugh at these lame-ass comment-leavers! Your comments are like so much dog poop to me, which I shall scoop up with 17 blue plastic bags wrapped around my hand, followed by a thorough scrubbing with bacterial soap and a wire brush. (This is why I do not have a dog, people, but for the record, I am not germaphobic. I am however poopaphobic.). I check my comments EVERY. F-ING. DAY. and I obliterate you when I find you. I smash you like a bug on the windshield of life. There will be no term paper selling on my blog, I'll tell you that right now, nosireebob.

Actually, who buys term papers these days? And who out there thinks this is a blog that high school or college age kids read? I mean I'm flattered and all, but c'mon...this is not my target audience. I don't even have a Target audience. I may have more of a WalMart audience. I certainly do NOT have a KMart audience, nor JC Penney or Sears. (I'm still pissed off at Sears for dropping poor Roebuck years ago. What the hell ever happened to him? And that reference alone tells you I'm not a blog young people read. maybe young-feeling people, but not young.)

In conclusion, let me just state that all you paper peddlers, go peddle your papers elsewhere. Term papers, divorce papers, pedigree papers...there will be no paper peddling here, nor peddling of any kind. NO ONE SELLS STUFF ON MY BLOG. Get me?

By the way, have you bought a copy of my book? Just click on the cover in the upper right corner to order your copy now!

Comments

[FP]

I'm 17 and i'm proud to say I'm an occasional reader of your blog. Chrissy Russo fan here :)
Very funny blog, I must say- I loved the Sears joke.

[Shell]

Gary, I somehow can't see you a ropin' steer ;-)

[Alex]

Hey, I'm under 30 and a reader of your blog. So you at least have one young reader.

[Gary]

Shell, I DO record them as spam, delete them and add their ISP numbers to my banned list...it's not my first rodeo, you know?

[Melanie Preschutti]

Just want you to know that I have started reading your blog every evening here in PA nightcap/drink in hand. Last night I scrolled through and read a bunch of your previous ones... reading your writing is as close as it gets to telling our parents we went to one of those TAHS highschool dances and instead spent the night riding around in my dad's Ford LTD!!! Those were the best of times!!!

[Shell]

You should do like Jeffrey Wells does and delete those posters and ban 'em for life.

I bought your book yonks ago. Haven't read it yet.

[Elessa]

I help administer a forum for an online game. I have been noticing an influx of new members who never post, however they fill their profile info and signature with links to a wide variety of crap.

I am inclined to believe the idea is that by simply existing their links will be found by spiders. The more appearances of their links will cause them to rise in searches.

I squash with a vengeance by banning their data from further access, then deleting their accounts.